(Disclaimer: Yes, I'm an atheist, but I wasn't quite to grips with that yet when I wrote this. Besides, I think it's pretty funny!)
Me: So, God.
God: Yes, my child?
M: Jake was watching some really crap religious programming this morning....
G: Jake was doing what?! But he doesn't believe in me!
M: I know, but we know that he's secretly just agnostic, not athiest.
G: True. Anyway, you were saying...
M: Oh yeah. So, on this show, the preacher was saying that by sending his ministry money, I can get the devil out of my life. Doesn't that reek of Tony Soprano "protection money"? Besides, I didn't realize you had so much overhead that my measly ten percent was going to help that much.
G: Well, I have been eyeing that new Bentley, and Jesus could really use some spinners for the Navigator.
M: Ahhhh.....I see, sort of.
G: What? You didn't catch my episode of "Cribs"?
M: Afraid not, I don't watch much t.v. these days.
G: Well, let me tell you, pearly gates and streets of gold don't come cheap.
M: Oh, well, in that case, my bad God. My bad.
G: No problem. You're forgiven.
M: Hey, thanks! Mighty generous of you!
G: It's what I do.
M: Peace out, G-Homey.
G: Keep it real, foshizzle.
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1 comment:
Ahhhh. Now it all makes perfect sense. God needs his bling, you know.
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