Snow Day!

Thanks to a winter storm blasting through my state, Jake and I didn't have to go to work today-Hooray!!!

So, I'm filling my day up with laundry, present wrapping, internet surfing, and crap t.v. All in all, a great way to spend the day. I hope that wherever you are, you are warm, snug, and with a loved one. Have some hot cocoa, sit back, and enjoy the Winter Wonderland.

Also, this is my last NaBloPoMo post!!! I managed to post everyday this month, despite how difficult it was at times to come up with subject matter, and a few times, I was posting just before midnight to make the deadline. Needless to say, you may notice a drop off in posts for awhile. It's the Holiday Season, and I'm super busy until the middle of January. I'll try to post when I can, but definitely not daily. It's been fun, and I hope you've enjoyed my daily posts, I know I have yours. Congrats to all who stepped up to this challange and completed it.

See you later, Taters!!

Cheese With My Whine?

I have a sinus/upper respiratory infection AGAIN. This is what? The 3rd or 4th time this year? Seriously, it's getting old.

Oh, you know me!! Nothing more I love than walking around feeling like an elephant is sitting on my face and chest, using my rescue inhalor 2 or 3 times a day, rubbing my nose raw from constantly blowing it. It's a joy!

Of course, being the stubborn cow that I am, I wait too long to go to the doctor, so by the time I get some decent medicine in me, the infection is much worse than what it would've been had, I seen a doctor sooner. So, I've scheduled an appointment for tomorrow. Although, we're about to get a blast of winter weather with snow and freezing rain, and people here tend to panic in any kind of inclimate weather, so I'm hoping my Dr. doesn't close his office before I can get my "feel good" fix.

How about you? Any of you out there dealing with "the crud"? Or winter weather? Both?

New Tunes Needs Your Help!

Hey everyone!

I really need your help in finding some new music to profile for "New Tunes" each week. I usually stumble across the artists I profile through other websites, but I haven't seen anything interesting lately.

If you know of a band or artist (popular, indie, whatever-any genre) that you think I should post about-let me know! If you have a link to their website or somewhere else where I could hear a sample of the music, add that to your comment as well.

I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with!

Infertility Humor

Courtesy of Married to the Sea:

Shhhhhhh! Don't Tell My Husband, But...

...last night I had a dream that I was dating Brad Pitt. Apparently he and Angelina had split up, and they shared joint custody over their children, so I got to meet them as well. Brad was so awesome, and he and I would sit around and discuss humanitarian issues, and plan our trips around the world.

During a private party, his buddy George Clooney (sigh...Sexiest Man Alive INDEED) slipped me his number, and I just cracked up. I mean, having Brad Pitt be attracted to me was one thing, but adding George to the mix was too much! Brad didn't take too kindly to his friend trying to hit on me, but it turned out George was just making sure that I was loyal to Brad-a test, so to speak.

The dream had rather *ahem* explicit moments, and I was rather annoyed to be awaken by my dogs.

However, when I did awaken, I rolled over to see the most handsome man of all already in my bed, my darling hubby, Jake. And reality, my friends, is so much better than the fantasy.

Really, though, can you blame a girl for dreaming of these guys:

Yeah, I didn't think so.

How I Spent My Saturday

Taking photos in the park of my sisters, nephew and BFF, Aimee:

Trinity

Stacia

Cassidy

Caleb

Aimee

Tannenbaum, Oh Tannenbaum

Getting ready to put up my tree! Photos will be posted later.

*Updated* Here's the photos!

(Ok, I know it's in a weird spot, but I have a small living room, and it's the only place we could fit the tree without moving all of our electronics.)

Here are some of the ornaments:

Te Amo Mi Familia

For "Love Thursday":

(Top Row: Jake & I; my sisters Cassidy and Stacia with my nephew Caleb; my dad Chris; 2nd Row: my niece Leah, my brother DJ, my SIL's sister Meggie (who's like a little sis to me), my mom Naomi; 3rd Row: my nephew Caleb, my sister Trinity, my SIL Audrey, my sister Stacia, and my sister Cassidy)

Like many of you, I'll be spending this Thanksgiving with my loved ones, stuffing my face full of delicious home cooking, and feeling ever grateful that I'm able to do so. My family can be at times irritating, as all families are, but I wouldn't trade them and their unconditional love of me for anything. Let's all enjoy and appreciate this holiday season with our loved ones, and remember those who are unable to do the same.

Happy Love Thursday and Thanksgiving!!

(PS: I also love pumpkin pie with french vanilla Cool Whip, just had to throw that one in there.)

Past, Present and Future

Today I had my "annual" appointment with my RE/Ob-Gyn, and as I sat waiting in the lobby for my name to be called, I looked around at my fellow patients, as most people do.

There were three other women there alone, and three couples. Seeing as how my RE runs the local fertility clinic that was housed in the same office, and the fact that none of these women were visibly pregnant, it wasn't hard to figure out what they were here for. Here were my fellow infertiles.

The three couples and myself were called back at the same time. While we waited in the long hallway to be assigned to our perspective rooms, the couples all looked at the photos on the wall of the babies my doctor helped to conceive and deliver. In their eyes I saw the hope, and heard in their minds "This could be us. We can be this lucky. This doctor will help us have a baby." As my heart broke a little for them, that they even had to use ART to achieve their dream of a family, I came to the realization that I'm not really one of "them" anymore. I am no longer relying on technology to help me build my family. I'm counting on the brave decision of a wonderful woman to place her child with me. I felt removed, apart, from these couples. However, I still remember what it's like to be them. To hope that this doctor will have the answers for them, to dream that they'll finally become pregnant and carry a child to term. That's not me anymore, and I'm glad. Infertility, while always a medical part of who I am, no longer defines me. It's my past, who I was, not who I am now. I no longer imagine the big red "I" on my chest, declaring my inability to bear a child.

I'll admit, that when looking at the photos of the babies and happy families, my heart twinged, just a little, then no more. My present is one where I am happy with who I am now, and glad to have my husband and our dogs as our family at this time. We are working hard, paying off debt, building credit, and hopefully, within the next year, buying the home that we'll bring our child home to, where we'll have our own happy family photos to display. My present is full of plans for my future.

That future-adoption, is one I am embracing with open eyes and a glad heart. I felt a bit smug at knowing how my child will come to me, that question being answered for me when we made our decision not to pursue ART, but to adopt a child. Sure, my husband and I will never know what it is to conceive a child, someone else will do that for us. We'll never see our combined features reflected in the face of our children, but we'll see their own beautiful faces none the less. I may have no say so over my child's nature, but I'll nurture him or her with all the love in my heart.

As I walked out of the examination area, and back into the waiting room, I locked eyes with another couple who had come in, waiting anxiously for their turn. I gave them a small smile, and a mental wish for their success, whatever way that may come.

Eh...

Since I really don't have anything to blog about today, allow me to distract you with this absurdly cute photo of my niece when she was 4 months old:




Is it working?

Sad News

My Grandmother passed away today from cancer. Unfortunately, she was in alot of pain, so her passing was not a peaceful one. Your kind thoughts for my Grandfather and my family are appreciated during this time.

Thank you.

Busy Lil' Bee

Just now having time to post, after a whirlwind weekend of shopping, babies, and chocolate consumption, I am home. And bored.

However, I'm using my remaining vacation time for the year to have all of this week off so I can catch up on some things I've been putting off, like putting stuff up on ebay for sale, getting my "annual" exam, and of course, preparing for the Turkey Day feast on Thursday.

I'm not going to be able to do as much shopping as I'd hope on Black Friday, funds being low and all, but I did score some really great deals this weekend at Big Lots and Tar*get's clearance racks, so I really don't have that much more to buy.

Guess that's all for now! Have a great week!

It's Still Saturday

So I've made the deadline for NaBloPoMo. I have a terrible sinus headache, and am going back to bed. See you tomorrow!

Hey Internets!! Can You Help???

I'm the kind of gal who tries to help out where and when I can, and I've recently come across two situations that I hope you can help me with.

Both involve women with young children who have left their abusive partners. Both women are desperate for any help they can receive, and one of them is pregnant with her third child. I'm gathering what I can to send to both of these women, but I hoped that perhaps some of you out there would have some items you could send as well.

If you've never been in an abusive situation, you have no idea what a nightmare it is. My birth father (I call him that because I consider my stepfather to be my "Dad") was physically and emotionally abusive to my mother for the duration of their 12 years together. That is not something a young girl should have to grow up with, and I am determined to help out any woman who is brave enough to leave that situation for the betterment of herself and her children. In the spirit of sisterhood, we should all stand together and help those women who need it the most.

(Just so you know the family dynamics, one of the ladies has a 1 yr old daugter and a 3 y.o. son in TX; the other is pregnant and has a 2 and an 8 yr. old boy in KS.)

The following items are needed or would be of great assistance:

*Size L-XL (14-18) Maternity Clothes
*Size 6-8 women's clothing
*Clothing for boys ages: 2, 3, & 8
*Size 18-24 months baby girls' clothing
*Clothing and various other items (non-gender specific) for a newborn baby
*Giftcards to stores like W*al-M*art, T*arget, etc. to help with groceries, toiletries, and possibly for Christmas as well.

If you are interested, and are able to help, please email me (my addy is under my profile) and I will be more than happy to provide you with the appropriate mailing addresses. Thank you so, so, so much!!

"Love Song"

For Love Thursday:
I absolutely love this photo from my wedding. It was taken as we were walking back down the aisle after being pronounced husband and wife. Yes, my dress was too long, and we had to carry it to keep me from tripping, but that imperfection could not ruin the fact that we were really, and finally married. The look of joy on our faces, especially the way my husband is looking at me, reminds me constantly, even on the worst of days, how much we love each other. I wouldn't trade that love for anything. He is my heart, my soul, my world. No one understands me the way he does, no one knows my little quirks, the pieces that make me who I really am, like him. We've been married for 8 years, together for 11, and we have a lifetime to go. I love you, baby.

Happy Love Thursday, everyone!

Love Song
By The Cure
BestAudioCodes.com

Phone Peeves

I'm a receptionist. This requires me to field calls from various idiots and telemarketers all day, which drives me up a wall. I seriously wish all telemarketing businesses would burn down, and never be rebuilt. Here are some of my biggest peeves when it comes to people calling my job:

1) Telemarketers who think they are soooo clever by asking for someone by their first name. Hello! We have caller id!! Besides, when you call asking for the the person who has been retired for years, but maintains an office here, I think you're giving yourself away.

2) People who call up and feel the need to tell me every detail as to why they are calling. "Hi. This is so and so, with such and such, calling about this and that for blah blah." Look. All I need is the name of the person you are calling for and YOUR name, so that I can announce you. That's it. Nothing else. Shut your piehole.

3) When I tell the person calling that so and so is unavailable, they're all like "Well, maybe YOU can help me?" Um, NO!! I'm just the receptionist, dude. I don't participate in what my employer does, I just answer their phone.

4) Persistent telemarketers (see a trend?). Listen, asshole, can't you take a hint? If the person you are calling for is consistently "unavailable" then perhaps they don't wish to buy whatever it is you're selling. AND....

5) If I put you into voice mail, don't call back and tell me "Oh, I got their voice mail, is there anyone else I could speak with?" NO!!! Nobody wants to talk to you, GO AWAY!!!

6) When I tell you that the person you are calling for is on the phone, don't ask to be placed on hold, it's annoying. Just leave a voice mail already, would you? This especially applies to those of you whom I've announced and been told that the person you are calling for doesn't want to speak with you. In that case, I'll leave your ass on hold all day. I'm not going anywhere, and I have nothing better to do.

7) If you see our number on your caller id, don't call back and say "I saw this number on my caller id. Who called me?" Well, considering I have 45 employees, I have no freakin' idea, buddy. If they didn't leave you a message, they obviously didn't want to talk to you that badly, did they? Or else they'll call back. Did you ever hear of a "wrong number"? It happens, you know.

8) In the same vein, if you dial us by mistake, don't argue that fact with me! If I tell you we have no one here by that name, I'm not lying. Get a grip! Am I sure? No, I'm just fucking with you...OF COURSE I'm sure! I work here, you don't!!

Whew!! OK, now that I've got THAT out of my system, I feel somewhat better. Rant over.

Blog Monks

Courtesty of: Married to the Sea

Blog/Website of the Week for 11/12/06

This week, I shall let you in on a little secret: I am one of those crazy people who is up at 4 a.m the day after Thanksgiving to catch the sales. "You must be crazy!", you're thinking. You may be right. I may be crazy. But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for. I digress.

In order to efficiently scoop up every possible bargain for those on my gift list, I start to plan out my shopping escapade with military precision the last week of October. The first place I turn to to help in my strategizing? Gotta Deal.com's Black Friday section. They have the ads and prices of almost all of the major Black Friday sales, so that instead of wandering from store to store trying to find the best deal, you can plan what to buy and where before heading out the door in the wee hours of the morn'.

They've already posted my top stops:

Wal-Mart
Toys R' Us
Target
Kohl's
Best Buy

Check it out, and don't forget to sign up for their email updates! Their forums are also a good place to get the best shopping and deal tips. Now, don't say I never told you anything useful!

I *Heart* My Sister-In-Law

Always the eloquent writer, my sister-in-law left this comment on my "Fears" post:

Your fears are understandable as a potential adoptive mother but they are not unlike the fears experienced by a biological mother. Becoming a mother IS a scary thing despite all the wonderful outcomes. The reality is that NO, you and Jake will not ever spend the same kind of 'alone' time as you do now. Once you have a child it will forever be different. You will become a unit of three, a tightly knit bond, and something automatically turns on in your heart and soul that makes you a mother above anything else. Even when you are away from your child, enjoying that precious alone time with your spouse that you will so greatly miss, you will both find yourselves wondering about what the little one might be doing at that moment. But don't forget that all those things you love doing with Jake - sleeping in late, snuggling in bed and watching silly cartoons on Saturday mornings, going to live events, movies, and just 'hanging out' - your child will do all of those things with you and it will become a normal part of life. There is no turning back from motherhood; every mother will become a mother for life, no matter what the circumstances. It's inborn, it's instinctual. Adoption is only one of the many, many different ways to build a family. Several of my cousins were adopted by my aunts and uncles and that is not even a consideration among us. It's like saying someone is Caucasian or female. The fact that a person is 'adopted' is only one dimension to the lifelong evolution of a person's unique personality and character. A family unit is bonded from the beginning, and your own journey into motherhood will be wonderful, frightening, exhilirating, mystifying, exhausting, intriguing, and ultimately satisfying. No mother escapes from those pesky feelings of guilt, the feeling that you are being judged by anyone and everyone, watching your every move and comparing it to other mothers, better mothers than you. You will look at other mothers in a completely different way; you will find yourself comparing your mothering skills and questioning your own decisions. Though you'd rather not admit it, you will always wonder if you're doing the 'right' thing, and if you're a 'good' mother. It may be a common fear especially among potential adoptive mothers because they may feel that they are being held to an even higher standard than biological mothers. I would like to say that it's a myth, but those feelings are understandable from mothers who have often already encountered disappointing, difficult, or scary situations that may or may not have led them to adoption. You will feel good about yourself when you laugh with other mothers. You will appreciate good examples of motherhood around you. You will be tired and grumpy and feel like no one really understands what it's like to have a 2-year-old tugging on your shirt and whining all day for no reason. You and Jake will celebrate every little moment of your child's life, and you will suffer when your child is in pain. Forever. And yes, you will miss the good old alone time. But it will become a pleasant memory, a story you can tell your child over and over again. "Before you were born, Mommy and Daddy..." And you will never once regret taking that leap of faith, that most feared and reveared journey into motherhood.

She always knows how to make me feel better, and I view her more as a blood sister, than one by marriage. I love you, A.B.W.!!!!

Fears

In the time before you adopted/gave birth to your child(ren) did you ever find yourself afraid that you would regret giving up your "alone" time with yourself or your spouse?

This is something I've been worried about lately. It's mostly stemmed from the relief I feel when my time babysitting my little sisters or my niece and nephew are up. I enjoy being with them, but it's exhausting, and I'm glad when I can retreat home. Yet, I still have the longing in my heart to have a child of my own. I see children out in public and wonder what my child will look or act like; so you see how this could cause a conflict. I also enjoy the time Jake and I get to spend together, especially now that he's home on weekends. Just snuggling in bed, watching t.v., brings me the greatest satisfaction imaginable. And after 11 years alone together, are we fully prepared to have a third person in our little family?

How do you find that balance? How do you make time for yourself, your spouse, and your children? I'm sure what I have are "pre-adoption jitters", because I have a stupid idea in my head that I have to be the most perfect parent imaginable, and various worries like this one keep playing in my head. I'm a chronic worrier about *everything*, so I'm sure this is just another thing I've blown out of proportion in my head. However, I would really like the perspective out there of anyone else who may have experienced or are experiencing something similar. I have to know that I'm not alone in what I'm feeling. Please, anyone?