Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Happy Halloween!!!
Monday, October 30, 2006
New Tunes: Week of 10/29/06
1. "Young Folks" - by Peter Bjorn and John (feat. Victoria Bergsman) (CD Single Import - but you can also find the cool video on YouTube. Be forewarned: this tune will get into your head and WILL NOT want to leave!)
2. "Such Great Heights" - by Iron & Wine (CD Single Import - but is also featured on the "Garden State" soundtrack [a FANTASTIC album in its own right] and on the M&M's commercial; this song was originally sung by The Postal Service.)
3. "Happenstance" - by Rachael Yamagata (selected track: 1963, though the entire album is fantastic!)
Purchase, download, enjoy!! Let me know if you like these selections as much as I do!
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Website/Blog of the Week 10/29/06
Palmer Cash Tees (great vintage and graphic tees)
and
NoiseBot (original, hilarious tees)
Enjoy your Sunday, for tomorrow it's back to the daily grind!
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Ode to Autumn
Friday, October 27, 2006
Political Friday
(courtesy of: Old American Century)
Actually, it's only sad if you're a Republican. For everyone else, it's embarrassing to have a President like him, yet helps us in the November elections. Bwahahahaha!!!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Learning to Love Yourself
- My blue eyes. Both of my parents, and my younger brother have green eyes, so I love the way I stand out. I love how the shade of blue changes with whatever I'm wearing, and I love that I have a visible physical connection to my grandfather and my niece and nephew, who share my eye color, despite both of their parents having green eyes.
- My complexion. I get more compliments on my skin than any other physical feature I posses. I have very fair, porcelain skin, with rosy undertones. Classic Irish complexion. I rarely need makeup, and have been fortunate enough not have acne problems.
- My dimples. I share this feature with my maternal grandfather, my Grandaddy. As far back as I can remember, even to this day, every time I see him, he smiles and says, "Show me Grandaddy's dimples." Now, how can I resist that?
- My big heart. I'm such a notorious softy. I fall for pretty much every sad story out there, especially if it involves children or animals. I bawl my eyes out every time I watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition", because I empathize with the family's situation. If I see a person in need, I always want to know how to help.
- My sense of loyalty. I am extremely loyal to my family and friends, and will stick up for them when they need it, and am by their sides when the chips are down. My loyalty goes hand in hand with my sense of protectiveness towards my loved ones.
- My sense of humor. I am a complete and unabashed goofball. I will pretty much do anything for a laugh, even at my own expense. I'll make a complete ass of myself, just to crack someone up. Humor is one of the biggest things that my husband and I love about each other. Our ability to laugh at life has kept us going strong for 11 years.
- My ability to find beauty in the everyday. I know it's cliche, but I'm rather like that boy in "American Beauty", I think there is so much beauty in the world that sometimes I can't stand it. The simplest of things are beautiful to me: a child's laugh, an autumn leaf, the sound of the surf upon the shore - I wish I could soak it all in and share it with the world.
- My taste in music. I love everything. There is not a single genre of music where I cannot find an artist I could enjoy. I love discovering new artists, new sounds and even re-discovering the greats from the past. My diverse taste in music can open me up to new experiences, and help me to make a connection to people with whom I would normally have nothing in common.
- My cooking. I'm not a gourmet by any stretch of the imagination, but I make delicious home-cooked comfort food. I'm not one of those cooks who measures anything. I'm more free-handed with my style. I know if I have too much or too little of anything based on taste alone, and I generally create recipes in my head. I don't get to cook as often as I'd like, but my husband thinks I am presenting him with manna from heaven any time I do.
- My political activism. My interest in all things political began during the '88 elections. I remember being fascinated by the political process, and watched the debates between Dukakis and Bush on t.v. Now, how many 11 yr. old girls do you know who do that? I am a person who believes in standing up for what's right, and holding our leaders accountable for their actions. I watch and read any political commentary I can, and try and keep abreast of the latest legislation. I believe it is my duty as a citizen of the U.S. to exercise the freedoms granted to me in our great Constitution by casting my vote in every local, state, and federal election. If I weren't such a hothead, I'd probably run for office someday, but I'm afraid that my mouth would get me into trouble.
Finally, here's one of my favorite photos ever taken of me:
This is me, circa 1997. I went to one of those fancy photo places in the mall, where most women put on feather boas and have big hair for their pictures. However, they had started to do a "Hollywood Glamour" look that I loved. I just knew the photos would turn out great, and they did. The photographer instructed me not to smile, to think of the time ("It was war, all the women were sad", he said.) and to only use my eyes to express my emotion. I really think that all comes out in this photo. No one ever believes me when I tell them it's me, they always think I'm showing them a picture of my grandmother or something. Guess I was born in the wrong era, huh?
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
In Other News...
Who knew?
Did everyone forget to take their happy pills or what?
Drug of Choice
Ahhhhh....Caffeine. Sweet nectar of the Gods. Your wonderful stimulant high starts my day off each morning with the warm rush of vitality and coherence. Without you, I am a zombie, struggling to stay awake at my desk - an embarrassing idea, considering my propensity for snoring and drooling in my sleep.
Where would I be without my Venti Iced Non-Fat Vanilla Latte? Without my delectably smooth Godiva milk-chocolate? My hot cocoa with marshmallows? Climbing the walls and biting people's head's off, that's where.
I know it's wrong to love you this much, you're so bad for me. Like a Harley-riding , leather wearing, young-Elvis looking, man-child rebel, I can't resist your lure. I've tried to distance myself from you in the past, but your siren's call is too strong for me. While I do my best to avoid you in the evening time, I anxiously count down the hours until I can once again embrace you in my hands, and welcome your flavor upon my lips. How could I ever have survived mid-terms and finals without your pep?
Let's face it, baby, you and I are together forever. It's chemical.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
Blog/Website Spotlight of the Week
This week's spotlight:
Oh My That's Awesome!
It's Awesome, indeed! Spotlighting all kinds of cool finds in clothing, accessories, music, housewares, and just about anything else you can think of, this website is run by some really cool chicks: Sarah and Wendy. These two ladies, in addition to other contributors, scour the real world and the net to bring you the latest thing that's recently caught their eye. It was through their site that I discovered my new love for Sufjan Stevens. With the holidays just around the corner, you'll definitely want to check them out to find the perfect gift for the hipster or hard-to-buy-for person in your life.
(PS: I've also set up a permanent link in my "Daily Dose" list.)
Sunday, October 22, 2006
New Tunes: Week of 10/22/06
This week's picks:
Ane Brun - A Temporary Dive (track: Song No. 6 w/Ron Sexsmith)
Sufjan Stevens - Illinoise (track: Chicago)
Goldfrapp - Supernature (track: Oh La La)
Check 'em out, download, and enjoy! You won't be sorry!
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Out Damn Blogspot! Out!
Hopefully, this post will go through. Blogger's being a bitch (taking forever to load, etc.), so there goes the post I was planning on writing. It was totally interesting, too! Unlike this pile of crap. In fact, please ignore it.
Hopefully, better luck tomorrow.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Fat Camp aka My Longest Post to Date
The fact that I am obese (and I cringe as I type that word, but it's true) is a problem of my own making. I know that sitting on my ass, stuffing my face full of carbs, and turning to food for comfort have caused me to self-destruct health-wise. In the 7.5 years of TTC and Infertility struggles, I have gained 80-85 lbs. I gained about 15 lbs. before that during the stress of planning my wedding, and almost didn't fit into my dress. So, we're talking about 95-100 lbs of weight gain in 10 yrs. I've always been kind of chubby, but never more than 10-15 lbs overweight. Until now. Now, I watch "The Biggest Loser" and realize that I am just as fat as the people they recruit for that show. It's horribly embarrassing and devastating to realize how far I've let myself go.
I can pinpoint the exact moment that my love/hate relationship with food began. It was the day my beloved grandfather died. We were living with my grandparents in Kentucky while my mom was undergoing chemo and radiation for cervical and ovarian cancer (she'd had uterine cancer just 3 years prior, and had to have a hysterectomy at age 28), back in Texas, where we lived at the time. My parents had divorced the summer before, and rather than hang around and support his children, my dad decided to up and move to Las Vegas and not leave a forwarding address, but a ton of bills behind. This caused us to become homeless, which only added to my mother's burdens. Rather than continuing to leave her children with friends to keep us off the streets, she took us back home to her parents. Needless to say, by the time the day my grandfather died (albeit peacefully in his sleep) rolled around, my brother and I were under far more stress than any 11 and 8 yr old children should be.
When people inevitably started to bring food to the house, my brother and I tried to mask our pain by consuming an entire bucket of chicken, a package of rolls, and a large bowl of pudding in one sitting. It was the start of a cycle that continues to this day. I know the "experts" tell you that when you are feeling emotional and are tempted to eat, to do something active, like walking, instead. Yeah, well, sometimes it's just easier and feels better to sit on the couch and eat a cup of chocolate pudding.
There was, however, a brief time between the ages of 18-20 where I was thin, well, thinner than I ever was before, anyway. I held down two jobs that required quite a bit of physical activity, and the pounds just started to fall off of me. For the first time in my life, I was HOT. The evidence of which was obvious in the way men looked at and flirted with me. I've never had so much attention paid to me by the opposite sex before! Let me tell you, it can be quite intoxicating and very, very powerful. Especially for a girl who couldn't get a date in high school. Of course, I was already with Jake at the time (we've been together since just before I was 18), so he was the only one reaping the benefits of having a hot chick. The funny thing is, I wasn't thin by society's standards. I wore a size 10-12, but with my build, it makes me look thin. I've always been big busted, and had a nice derriere, so if you eliminate most of my belly fat, I look great. I was holding my head high, full of confidence and happiness. Even when the weight first started to creep back on, it never bothered me. Jake loved me and found me attractive (and still does, btw), and that's all that mattered. I was even deluded enough to not "see" how truly overweight I had become. My mind would play the trick of believing that I was thinner than what I actually was. The only time that facade slipped, was if I saw a photo of myself. Then, I couldn't deny the evidence any longer. In fact, I've held on to this delusion until recently. While viewing the season premiere of TBL with Jake, I watched as one by one, the contestants were weighed in, wearing nothing but some spandex shorts and sports bra (for the women)-oh the horror! I saw their numbers come up, and realized, "Oh my God. They weigh as much as I do!" To confirm my growing horror at the realization of the enormity of what I had done to myself, I asked Jake to tell me, honestly (please, and no, I won't be mad), "Do I look like that?". His confirmation was like a bucket of cold water poured over my head, waking me up to the fact that I weigh as much as a grown man who plays football.
You would think that I would immediately start dieting and exercising, changing my life for the better, but no. Food and I, we're in a co-dependent relationship. Food is like the boyfriend who beats me up, but I love him anyway, and keep crawling back. Food is my lover, my best friend. Food comforts me, lifts me up, when life gets me down. Food has been there for me in my time of need. It brings back memories of family gatherings, and romantic evenings. It sustains me, and I don't mean in a "you need food to live" sense.
I want to break up with food, to no longer be its slave, to be in love with it, but I don't know how. I'm an atheist, so OA and "giving it up to a higher power" won't work; I'm simultaneously horrified and repulsed at the thought of joining WW or JC and doing the weigh-ins and meetings, Curves isn't my style, and I don't have the money to spend on Nutri-system or South Beach, or any of the other diet plans out there. I have to learn to do it on my own, but where do I begin? I don't care about what the scale says, I want to be healthy and happy. Just to be a size 12-14, rather than a 18-20 would be wonderful! To walk up a flight of stairs without losing my breath, to relieve the pain in my knees, my back, and the stress on my heart and lungs, would fill me with joy and a sense of pride. To finally hold my head up, to look people in the eye, and not worry that they're snickering behind my back about what a "fatty fatster" I am, is a dream I can't wait to turn into reality. I've got to find a way to do it, and sooner rather than later is preferable, in fact, it's become necesssary. If I don't want to devlop diabetes, or dig myself an early grave, I have to change - NOW.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
That's What Friends Are For
Nat & Aimee May 2006
Now, friends require work. You're not as trusting as you used to be, and are more guarded with your affections. You've learned the hard lessons about betrayal and feeling used, not to mention the high drama that can accompany friendships amongst girls.
With Aimee, there is none of that. Despite the almost 3 year age difference, she and I almost instantly clicked, finding kindred spirits based on a lifetime of similar experiences. There are also very obvious differences between our personalities; for instance I'm definitely the more outgoing of our duo, and Aimee is more pragmatic. However, our differences only serve to compliment, and not conflict with each other. It's as if we've known each other our entire lives, rather than 3 1/2 years. We can be completely serious, or seriously goofy anytime, and not worry about what the other person will think of you. We're so bonded, that we attend each other's family functions, and hang out whenever possible. She's also one of the only friends I've had that my husband considers one of his as well, which really means alot to me.
Aimee is 5 months pregnant, and I was with her when she saw those two lines appear, and I'll be there when her son takes his first breath and beyond. Our friendship is one of those that you know, with all of your heart, that will last for a lifetime.
I love you, Aimee.
PS: Stop by her blog and give her a shout out, would you?!
Keep smilin' keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me
For sure
That's what friend's are for
For good times
And bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friend's are for
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Indecisions
Scary, no?
My friends and I dressed up as the "80's Ladies" for my birthday/Halloween party, went to a bar, got a little tipsy, where I then proceeded to belt out "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" in my best Cindy Lauper imitation, while they sang back-up. Ah yes, good times, good times. Please note the use of blue eyeshadow and bangle bracelets. Honestly, I think Aimee (black mesh shirt w/pink bra) had the best hair. I tried ratting mine, but my hair is very anti-80's. It's taken 16 years of training to make it that way.
Anyway, so now I'm at a loss as to what to wear this year. I love Halloween, but it's torture for me to find a costume. Being a larger woman, there aren't alot of choices out there, without coming up with something homemade or original. Well, I suck at being crafty, so I can't make anything too complex, and I don't want to spend an arm and leg, either. I'm jealous of Ollie's idea, she's definitely creative, and I feel sucky in comparison. So, if any of you have any ideas, let me know, PLEASE!!! I'm a desperate woman!!!
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Bibliophile
Click here to access my list.
Monday, October 16, 2006
Committed
So sit down, strap in, and hold on, 'cause you're about to have at least six weeks of unfiltered Nat Time!!
PS: Don't forget, I can wait until 11:59 pm to post, and it still counts for that day!! Oh, how I love interpreting rules to how I want/need them to be! (Must be why I work for attorneys.)
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Brothers and Sisters
This handsome devil with the big smile is my little brother, D.J. He's 3 years younger than I, and the only brother I have. Being a typical little brother, he hasn't always been the easiest person to get along with, especially when he was aggravating me, just to make himself laugh (which he still does!). However, he and I always knew we could count on each other, no matter what, when the chips were down and the times were tough.
D.J. and I didn't have the easiest childhood, and we heard and saw many things that children should not. Many times throughout his life, I was not only his sister, but his surrogate mother as well. This dual role only served to solidify our bond.
My brother is a wonderful husband and loving father to his two beautiful children, my nephew Caleb, and my niece Leah. Those kids are his whole world, and they are both "Daddy's Babies".
Watching my brother grow up and seeing what a wonderful man he's become makes me so proud of him. I know things aren't always easy-he works long hours to provide for his family while is wife is in school full time-but he somehow always manages to come out of it with a smile. Family is so important to D.J., and he makes sure he's there not only for me, but for our parents, and now for our new sisters as well. He's a fantastic role-model, and is definitely the kind of man his son can look up for inspiration and guidance. I don't get a chance to see him as often as I'd like, but we try to make the times we are together that much more meaningful.
Friday is D.J.'s 26th birthday, and for "Love Thursday", I just wanted the world to know just how much I love my brother. Happy Birthday, baby brother!! I hope we have a lifetime more to celebrate together!
Love, Sis
"brothers and sisters, unite
it's the time of your life
it's the time of your life
break down, break down
gotta spread love around
gotta spread it all round"
"Brothers and Sisters" by Coldplay
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Did I Forget To Mention..
Yes, indeed-y; he was hired by **** (Big Computer Company), after interviewing for 3 different positions. I guess they really wanted him, because they kept calling him for interviews. It's not the position he originally wanted, but his foot's in the door, and he hopes to move up quickly, especially since he's over-qualified for his current position. His first day was yesterday, and it's nice to have him home with me in the evenings and on weekends.
FINALLY, after all these years, we can be together like a normal couple! Wow! I actually get to sleep next to my husband at night? Who'd thunk it?
So, we're hoping that the increase in salary will allow us to pay down debt, build some savings, and then we can buy a house. THEN, it's on to ADOPTION!!! Huzzah! (Does anyone actually use that phrase anymore? Besides the British Navy? I read too many historical novels, obviously.) Things are looking up, and I couldn't be happier!
Monday, October 09, 2006
Just to Make Ollie Jealous
I'll be attending this little shindig and I will definitely take the opportunity to shake Wayne Coyne's hand, just to say that I did! I'll even try to get a photo taken with him! If I do, you can bet your sweet ass I'll be posting it ASAP. And Ollie will die a little inside every time she sees it, because I think she's more in love with Wayne than I am. Yeah, I can be petty like that.
#1 Reason We Should Be Teaching Sex Ed In Schools Is
"Can you get pregnant if the guy is wearing pants?"
'Nuff said.
And you wonder why I'm a liberal?!
Thursday, October 05, 2006
This One Goes Out To The One I Love
Monday, October 02, 2006
Monday Miscellaneous
*Friday night and most of Saturday were spent in bed, snuggling and watching t.v. with Jake, who called in sick to his night job (he really *was* sick, kind of). It was wonderful! There's nothing quite like lying around, under your comfy feather duvet, watching crap t.v. I'm trying to enjoy our alone time, because once we have our child, those times are ovah. At least, for 18 years or so.
*Saturday afternoon (when we finally managed to drag ourselves out of bed) we went to see School for Scoundrels, the new Billy Bob Thornton/Jon Heder movie. I wanted to see this because I love Billy Bob. Sure, he plays the same cynical asshole in all his movies, but I *love* that cynical asshole. I can even overlook his weird phobia against antiques, and that whole wearing-of-the-blood-in-the-necklace-thing when he was married to Angelina. The movie itself was ok, I'd give it a "B"-definitely worth the matinee price, but I wouldn't pay full price. Funny, but not hilarious.
*Great new download for the iPod: "Sexy Love" by Ne-Yo
*Great read: Secret Confessions of the Applewood PTA by Ellen Meister. Hilarious, touching, quick read. Check it out today!
*Today's high in Oklahoma City: 91 . Now tell me there isn't global warming!!
Later, Taters!!