Thursday, December 14, 2006

Ties That Bind

If you've read me long enough you'll know that my best friend, Aimee, is having a baby boy in March. His name will be Isaiah.

What you don't know is that I am Aimee's birth coach/partner. For the first time, I'll get to be in the delivery room when new life is brought forth. I'll see Isaiah take his first breath, and hear his cry. Of course, the father will also be there, but because he attends school during the day and works full time at night, he couldn't attend the pre-natal and birthing classes, and that's where I come in.

We've only had 2 classes so far, but they have been extremely enlightening. I've learned a lot about pre-natal nutrition and development. I've also come to another startling realization-even though I cannot see him, and can only feel his movements externally, I'm already in love with this baby. By investing so much of my time in learning about his growth and development, by being the first person (besides his mother) to view and hear his heartbeat, by witnessing the changes he's bringing to his mother's body, by helping to prepare his nursery and layette, I'm forming an external bond in my heart with this child who shares no familial ties to myself. I cannot wait to hold him, kiss him, care for him, alongside his parents.

Another positive realization is: I can participate in the pregnancy and not feel envy or sorrow. I'm excited, not sad. There was a time, not too long ago when this would not have been possible. My emotional growth and well being are another sign of how ready and accepting I am of adoption. These classes are also educating me about the changes that will happen to my child's birth mother, and reinforces to me how much of a sacrifice placing her child with me really is. I can only hope that I honor my birthmother with the appropriate level of love and respect she truly deserves.

In the meantime, I have little Isaiah to keep me occupied, and I can't wait to meet this newest member of my "family of choice".


The Trace said...

I am TOTALLY impressed! I don't know if I could do that. Wow, you are giving such a large part of yourself. The most I was able to do was a baby shower for my best friend.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Nat - I'm so excited for you. I did this very
thing YEARS before my IF experience. It was the year
DH & I met. I took the classes & was the birth coach.
And, it was one of the most incredible experiences of
my life. The baby boy that was born still refers to
me as his "fairy godmother". We'll be family for

Please keep us posted. I can't wait to hear how it

XO, WendyZ

Kickarse said...

What a wonderful bonding expereince for the 3 of you!