It's the pits!
This is not the way I wanted to end Christmas and start my New Year. Hopefully, the Dr. will be able to prescribe something, anything, to ease my suffering when I have my appointment this afternoon.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Saturday, December 23, 2006
It's in the Cards
Here are the Christmas cards I have received so far this year. I send out cards because it's something I like to do, and it's a way to connect-at least once a year-to those I care about. It means even more to me when I receive cards in return.
Several of these cards are from YOU, my Internet friends. Though I've never met any of you in person, nor heard your voice over a phone line, we've connected and bonded in a way I rarely do with those I see in the everyday. Several of you have known me for at least 4 or 5 years-the "B1" days. Most of you have moved on from infertility, and have already created a family, or are in the process of doing so. Just the fact that we can stay in touch-after all this time-and still wish each other well, fills my heart with a joy and love I cannot adequately describe. I know you may think it's "just a card", but to me, it's a symbol of love.
From the bottom of my heart, I thank you, and wish you all the best this Holiday Season.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Oh! So THAT's What I'm Getting for Christmas!!
NSFW. So go home, turn up your speakers, and prepare to laugh your ass off!
"Holiday Road"
Well, folks, as you can tell, I've been too busy to blog lately. Also, there really hasn't been much to say. So, I think I'm going to take a blogging break until I return from my trip to DC to see my in-laws on January 14. I may post once or twice in that time frame, but it will be just a little something to let you know I'm still around.
Hopefully, I'll have more to say in the New Year.
In the meantime, allow myself, my family, and Mr. Hankey (along with all the other South Park kids) wish you and yours a Very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah (what's left of it), Happy Kwanzaa, and a Happy New Year!
Be safe, be Merry, and don't drink and dial!
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Comment Problems *UPDATED*
Update:
Well, looks like whatever the problem was, is now fixed!! Huzzah!
For some reason, Blogger is not letting people w/o the beta accounts comment on my page. I don't know why, since I made the switch a while back, and have had comments from these same people since then.
If you can't comment under your usual name, just choose "anonymous" and sign your name to the comment. Hopefully, they'll fix whatever the issue is soon.
Thanks!
Well, looks like whatever the problem was, is now fixed!! Huzzah!
For some reason, Blogger is not letting people w/o the beta accounts comment on my page. I don't know why, since I made the switch a while back, and have had comments from these same people since then.
If you can't comment under your usual name, just choose "anonymous" and sign your name to the comment. Hopefully, they'll fix whatever the issue is soon.
Thanks!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Ties That Bind
If you've read me long enough you'll know that my best friend, Aimee, is having a baby boy in March. His name will be Isaiah.
What you don't know is that I am Aimee's birth coach/partner. For the first time, I'll get to be in the delivery room when new life is brought forth. I'll see Isaiah take his first breath, and hear his cry. Of course, the father will also be there, but because he attends school during the day and works full time at night, he couldn't attend the pre-natal and birthing classes, and that's where I come in.
We've only had 2 classes so far, but they have been extremely enlightening. I've learned a lot about pre-natal nutrition and development. I've also come to another startling realization-even though I cannot see him, and can only feel his movements externally, I'm already in love with this baby. By investing so much of my time in learning about his growth and development, by being the first person (besides his mother) to view and hear his heartbeat, by witnessing the changes he's bringing to his mother's body, by helping to prepare his nursery and layette, I'm forming an external bond in my heart with this child who shares no familial ties to myself. I cannot wait to hold him, kiss him, care for him, alongside his parents.
Another positive realization is: I can participate in the pregnancy and not feel envy or sorrow. I'm excited, not sad. There was a time, not too long ago when this would not have been possible. My emotional growth and well being are another sign of how ready and accepting I am of adoption. These classes are also educating me about the changes that will happen to my child's birth mother, and reinforces to me how much of a sacrifice placing her child with me really is. I can only hope that I honor my birthmother with the appropriate level of love and respect she truly deserves.
In the meantime, I have little Isaiah to keep me occupied, and I can't wait to meet this newest member of my "family of choice".
What you don't know is that I am Aimee's birth coach/partner. For the first time, I'll get to be in the delivery room when new life is brought forth. I'll see Isaiah take his first breath, and hear his cry. Of course, the father will also be there, but because he attends school during the day and works full time at night, he couldn't attend the pre-natal and birthing classes, and that's where I come in.
We've only had 2 classes so far, but they have been extremely enlightening. I've learned a lot about pre-natal nutrition and development. I've also come to another startling realization-even though I cannot see him, and can only feel his movements externally, I'm already in love with this baby. By investing so much of my time in learning about his growth and development, by being the first person (besides his mother) to view and hear his heartbeat, by witnessing the changes he's bringing to his mother's body, by helping to prepare his nursery and layette, I'm forming an external bond in my heart with this child who shares no familial ties to myself. I cannot wait to hold him, kiss him, care for him, alongside his parents.
Another positive realization is: I can participate in the pregnancy and not feel envy or sorrow. I'm excited, not sad. There was a time, not too long ago when this would not have been possible. My emotional growth and well being are another sign of how ready and accepting I am of adoption. These classes are also educating me about the changes that will happen to my child's birth mother, and reinforces to me how much of a sacrifice placing her child with me really is. I can only hope that I honor my birthmother with the appropriate level of love and respect she truly deserves.
In the meantime, I have little Isaiah to keep me occupied, and I can't wait to meet this newest member of my "family of choice".
Monday, December 11, 2006
Gonna Need A Latte
To get through today. It's 1:30 am and I'm still wide awake. I'm like this every freakin' Sunday evening. Thank god for Star*bucks, without their Venti Latte's I'd never make it through my Mondays.
I'm so desperate for entertainment, I resorted to watching this tonight. Yep, it's that bad. Damn Duggars.
Wish me luck (and rest!)
I'm so desperate for entertainment, I resorted to watching this tonight. Yep, it's that bad. Damn Duggars.
Wish me luck (and rest!)
Monday, December 04, 2006
Do Overs?
My friend Aitch asks: "If you could go back [10 years], what would you tell yourself?" Great question. Here's what I said:
I’d definitely go back in time and tell myself:
1) Stop being so effing dramatic-it’s stupid and tiresome.
2) Get your finances in order!! Avoid huge amounts of debt later in life this way!
3) GO TO COLLEGE!!
4) Stop spending money on birth control, you don’t need it, you’re both infertile!! Take that money and pay off bills!!
5) Don’t depend on your mother for *anything*. She will consistantly let you down. Also, don’t let her steal your wedding photos, and take ALOT longer in planning your wedding, so it can be the one you’ve dreamed of, not the shitfest it was.
6) Your boyfriend (now hubby) loves you. More than life itself. Get some self-esteem and stop doubting it. He will spend the rest of his life with you, and you’ll never regret it.
7) Keep a clean house!! You’re a pig!!
8) Learn to let shit slide. Really, every little thing doesn’t have to get blown out of proportion and turn into a screaming match.
9) For God’s sake, you’re thin now!!! Stop eating junk, you’ll get really, really, REALLY fat if you don’t start working out now!!
10) Your boyfriend’s parents (my in-laws) like you, they just wish you’d stop being so dramatic. They’ll really love you later, and you’ll love them back.
Wow, guess there’s a lot I would change. But, that’s maturity for you!
I’d definitely go back in time and tell myself:
1) Stop being so effing dramatic-it’s stupid and tiresome.
2) Get your finances in order!! Avoid huge amounts of debt later in life this way!
3) GO TO COLLEGE!!
4) Stop spending money on birth control, you don’t need it, you’re both infertile!! Take that money and pay off bills!!
5) Don’t depend on your mother for *anything*. She will consistantly let you down. Also, don’t let her steal your wedding photos, and take ALOT longer in planning your wedding, so it can be the one you’ve dreamed of, not the shitfest it was.
6) Your boyfriend (now hubby) loves you. More than life itself. Get some self-esteem and stop doubting it. He will spend the rest of his life with you, and you’ll never regret it.
7) Keep a clean house!! You’re a pig!!
8) Learn to let shit slide. Really, every little thing doesn’t have to get blown out of proportion and turn into a screaming match.
9) For God’s sake, you’re thin now!!! Stop eating junk, you’ll get really, really, REALLY fat if you don’t start working out now!!
10) Your boyfriend’s parents (my in-laws) like you, they just wish you’d stop being so dramatic. They’ll really love you later, and you’ll love them back.
Wow, guess there’s a lot I would change. But, that’s maturity for you!
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