Losing My Religion

So, I've come to a radical realization (for myself): there is no God, no invisible man in the sky looking down on all we do, controlling the universe as if we were pieces on a chess board.

This is quite a dramatic statement coming from someone who was raised in a Catholic/Southern Baptist enviornment, and in fact, I still collect religious icons, crucifixes, angels, etc. I think there is alot of beautiful religious art out there, but that doesn't mean I have to believe in what it represents.

I didn't come to this realization overnight, nor did I make my decision lightly, it has been coming for quite some time now. I've just slowly, and steadly lost my faith and belief system over the years of my adulthood, and now it has been completely erradicated. Now, I know that alot of people will think that this only because of my infertility. Although that was a contributing factor, it was only one of many. This also does not mean that I think there is something wrong with people who do have a faith or belief system for themselves, be it Christian, Jewish, Hindu, whatever. I know that there can be comfort and solace in religious beliefs, and if that's what you need in your life, I have no problem with that. I just don't need it in mine. Nor do I need judgements from others regarding my decision. I think religion itself is a deeply personal decision and experience that is unique to each individual, even if you have the same belief system as another.

I really haven't shared this decision with many people, because I really don't want to hear any negativity, nor do I think it's most people's business. However, many of those I have told have been supportive, and they respect my decision, although most of them believe I am just going through a "phase" and will eventually return to the bosom of Christianity. I feel no need to disavow them of that notion, I'm guessing they'll eventually figure it out for themselves.