I Hate My Ute

Last night, while typing up my "Borat" post, I could feel the first stirrings of cramps. No big deal, it's about that time of month, I thought. Well, within 5 minutes, I was lying on my bathroom floor racked with the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life.

I was screaming, crying, and begging to die. I'm being serious, it was that horrible. It felt like I was being clawed apart from the inside, and I would have done anything to make it stop. I couldn't move, and my tears were making it difficult to breathe. My poor husband just sat in the floor next to me, helpless, unable to help his wife. I managed to choke down a Loritab I had leftover in the cabinet, and counted down (when I wasn't fighting to stay conscious) the time until it kicked in. After an hour of mind-numbingly excruciating torture, the pain subsided long enough for me to crawl to bed. I knew going to the ER wouldn't do anything for me, they'd just give me painkillers and send me on my way-not worth the pain to get out of the house for, not to mention the hospital bill.

So today, still in a manageable amount of pain, I made my way to the Doctor. A lot of good that did me. All I got was a dildo-wand stuck up my bits to be told there was fluid behind my uterus, which could either be from a ruptured cyst (though he could find no evidence of one on my ovaries) or from my endo. Gee, hmmm...YOU THINK?!?!?! I've only been to 4 doctors in the past 5 years for this shit!! No one can seem to help me. Birth control doesn't work past the first month or two, and only succeeds in making me act like a crazy woman. This doctor (a specialist, might I add) won't do a laperoscopy on me until I lose at least 20 lbs., because he's afraid of something happening during surgery. I suppose I can thank the litigious public for that one. All doctors are afraid of actually treating their patients, for fear of being sued. So much for the Hippocratic oath, huh?

Anyway, I was left to drive home in tears, where I subsequently popped another Loritab, along with a Xanax, and crawled back to bed, and into oblivion for the next 8 hours. Hopefully, I can get some sleep tonight, I have be up earlier than usual to hit the polls when they open tomorrow.

So, sorry for not having my usual "Weekly feature" posts up, I'll take care of those tomorrow.